


Season of Forgiveness

by Harleythegeekqueen



Category: JDM - Fandom, Negan - Fandom, The Walking Dead, Twd - Fandom
Genre: AU, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Implied Smut, Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-26 19:58:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17148173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harleythegeekqueen/pseuds/Harleythegeekqueen
Summary: Christmas is rough for Negan after the death of his wife Lucille. When you accidentally run into him he gets you fired although he doesn’t even know you. This leads him on a journey of forgiveness in time for the holiday season.





	Season of Forgiveness

**Author's Note:**

> Written for: @annablack1102 Negan Fic Exchange 2018
> 
> Gift for: This is my Christmas gift to @opheliadawnwalker3 ! Merry Christmas and I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Prompt: Character A vows to do something nice for a stranger during the Christmas time. Character B is that stranger.
> 
> A/N: For some reason, I really struggled with this prompt. I don’t know but I sincerely hope that the story does it justice. Merry Christmas lovelies! I just needed some fluff. All errors are my own, gifs/photos found on Google unless noted above, and as always thank you so much for reading!

##  **THEN**

    “What are you saying, Doc?” he asked again tired of the bullshit being spewed at him.

    “I’m saying that your wife doesn’t have much time. It could be a few more days or hours, but Lucille is not leaving this hospital. The cancer has spread too much and there is nothing else we can do but simply make her comfortable,” the doctor answered sympathetically.

   “No, no, no,” he threw his hands up. “No there has to be something. Anything?”

   “I’m sorry but we can’t do anything else.”

   “Fuck,” Negan exhaled sinking into the chair. “What do I do?”

   “Go in there and be with your wife. You’re going to need to be there for her,” the doctor clasped Negan’s shoulder and turned to head back for the nursing station.

   Negan runs his hand down his face fighting back tears. After all the shit he’d already put his wife through God had to be cruel enough and give her cancer. Why couldn’t it have been him? He deserved to be punished not Lucille. He couldn’t bear to watch her waste away when it should be him in that hospital bed.

   “Negan?” the timid nurse comes out of Lucille’s room. “She told me to tell you to quit blaming yourself and get in there.”

   Negan chuckled swallowing back his tears, “Sounds like my wife.”

   “If you need anything just let us know.”

  Negan swallowed standing moving back to the room just keeping to the doorway. Lucille was laid out in bed her scarf wrapped around her head and her eyes were closed but a small smile still graced her lips. He took a deep breath and moved to the chair next to the hospital bed reaching for Lucille’s hand. Her fingers immediately entwined with his as her smile widened.

    “I can already hear your apology Negan and I don’t want it. This isn’t on you,” her eyes opened turning to meet his. “Don’t you dare try to take the blame for this.”

   “It should be me, Lucille. I should be the one ate up with cancer not you,” he leans down kissing her cheek. “I’m a miserable excuse for a husband.”

   “I already forgave you, Negan. You don’t have to keep blaming yourself.”

   “I do though. I should have been there for you. I should have worked out our problems instead of going out with any woman that would open her legs for me.”

   “Negan, if you want me to lie here and condemn you then you’ve come to the wrong place. I love you and I forgive you for everything. What I want now is to spend the rest of the time I have with you. Okay?”

    “I love you, Lucille.”

    “Just promise me that you’ll take care of yourself and fall in love again, okay? Don’t you dare shut yourself off from the world and become an old miserable bastard. Do you understand me? It’s my dying wish.”

    “I can’t promise that Lucille. I don’t deserve anything.”

    “It ain’t about deserve Negan. I love you for better or worse so don’t you dare waste that,” Lucille squeezed his hand and made him lean forward to kiss her. Eventually, she talked the stubborn man into climbing into bed with her. Negan wrapped his arms around his wife telling her every little thing he loved about her. When he awoke the next morning she was gone but there was a smile on her face. He sobbed holding her to his chest and that was the day his heart hardened despite Lucille’s dying wishes.

##  **NOW - ONE YEAR AND THREE MONTHS LATER - DECEMBER**

      “Vanilla chai for Y/N,” the barista called out and you grabbed your drink rushing to work. You got in the door just as the clock on your arm chimed that it was eight am. You were in such a hurry though that you didn’t notice the man already in the elevator and ran right into him. This proceeded to knock the scolding hot chai all over your red dress and down to your boots.

      “Watch where you’re going next time,” he practically barked.

      Thankfully none had landed on what appeared to be a very expensive suit as the older man looked down on you, “I’m sorry I was in a hurry. I’ll pay for any dry cleaning cost.”

      “Who do you work for?” he glared again.

      “Grimes, Dixon and Associates,” you squeaked as he pulled out his phone.

      “Well, I’m on my way to see dear old Rick let’s see how he feels about one of his secretary’s goofing off and ruining the suit of one of their highest paying clients.”

       _Shit!_  You thought to yourself when it finally clicked who this was. Negan. In fact, you didn’t even think the guy had a last name because when people said Negan they already knew who you meant, “I’m sorry, sir. I promise I’ll pay for any dry cleaning.”

     It didn’t matter as he pulled the phone out calling Mr. Grimes’ direct line. By the time the elevator stopped you were a bundle of nerves and walked to your desk as if the executioner was going to come any moment. Mr. Grimes’ personal secretary finally called around noon and asked you to come down to Rick’s office right away. It went to bad from worse from there. Thanks to Negan not only were you required to pay the dry cleaning bill but you were let go for your behavior towards a client. You tried to explain what happened but apparently, Negan had made it his ultimatum. Fire the klutz or lose his business. Simply put money wins.

     Negan felt like an asshole by the time he made it home that night. All he could see was your fear stricken expression as you tried to apologize for nothing if he had to be honest. His suit was fine although your dress was the thing that had actually been ruined. Now here he was so close to Christmas and he caused you to lose your job. He felt like such an asshole.

    “ _You should feel like an asshole_ ,” Negan jumped hearing her voice. He swore he’d smelled her perfume yesterday but this was undeniable.

    “Lucille?”

   “ _Negan, I thought I made you promise you wouldn’t become this person?_ ” Negan sank onto the couch as the ghostly visage of his wife emerged out of thin air.

   “Lucille? How?”

   “ _Christmas is the time of miracles, Negan. The way it looks if anyone needs a miracle right now it’s you. You’re so cold. I almost miss the Negan who cheated on me._ ”

   Negan said nothing because she was right. He was cold and hard. Everyone talked about him like some goddamn monster. Maybe they were right. He’d cheated on his wife for so long and then thought they’d be together once he confessed. God practically spit on his face by giving her cancer.

    “Lucille I don’t deserve to be seen but anything as a monster.”

    The visage sighed stroking Negan’s cheek, “ _Torment yourself all you want Negan, but what about the people who work for you. What about that poor girl who lost her job today because of you?_ ”

    “How did you?”

    “ _Dead, remember? I see all and I’ve been given a chance to come here for that reason. I died thinking I was leaving behind a better man, but you have only become worse. You have until Christmas to make things right for that girl._ ”

   “What? I don’t know the first thing about her Lucille. Hell, I don’t even think I got her name before Rick let her go.”

   “ _That’s my point_ ,” the ghost of his wife suddenly in his face. “ _You have until Christmas to make things right or your soul will be irrevocably damaged._ ”

   He thought for a moment, “Maybe I don’t deserve to feel joy or happiness again. Maybe this is my punishment for all the awful shit I did to you.”

   She smiled, “ _You were forgiven Negan now you need to forgive yourself. Find her and fix this not only for you but for her too._ ”

   Negan wanted to argue then realized he was once again alone in his huge apartment. He sighed laying back on the couch rubbing his temple. Did that really just happen? Ghost couldn’t be real and what kind of hallmark bullshit was this to have his dead wife visit demanding he change by Christmas. He stood up pouring a glass of whiskey swallowing it down. The burn letting him know that he wasn’t dreaming.

    “Fuck this. I’m imagining shit. Fucking holidays mess everyone up.”

    “ _ **Christmas, Negan!**_ ” he froze then immediately looking around trying to see the ghost of his wife, but he was alone.

    “Fuck me,” he grumbled before pulling out his phone texting Simon. Simon was a co-worker and occasional drinking buddy but when he needed something done Simon made it happen.

[Negan: I need you to find someone. She’s a former secretary at Grimes & Dixon. She got fired this morning but I want to know everything about her.]

[Simon: ….the girl you got fired?]

[Negan: How the hell did you know that?]

[Simon: Secretary’s talk. News travels faster when it’s one of their own. I’ll look into it and you’ll have everything by lunch tomorrow.]

[Negan: I owe you.]

##  **SEEKING FORGIVENESS**

     You sulked for two days after being fired but decided to put off the job search until after the holidays. As long as your father never found out and you didn’t see Negan again you’d make it through. Instead, you focused on volunteering and enjoying the season with your friends.

    But things were weird at the end of the first week and on. First an arrangement of roses appeared at your doorstep with no note. The second week a note arrived that your rent had been paid up through the next year completely. You called your father’s secretary but she declined it was him. Then the children’s charity you worked for had all their wish lists taken care of. All the children would wake up having all the things they had asked for.

    “Y/N, you got another one,” Maggie called carrying a large box inside. You had set up to bake cookies to take around to churches and shelters while Maggie carried the large box inside. She sat it down waiting excitedly for permission before opening it. Inside rested a lovely lace green dress with gold flats and jewelry to match that would probably have cost you a month’s pay.

     “Okay? Who is the sugar daddy?” Maggie pulled the dress out holding it to her frame spinning.

      “This is so damn weird,” you wiped your hands off on your apron. “Was there at least a note this time?”

      “Not that I see. But seriously Y/N, what is going on? First the rent, your kid’s charity, and now this?”

      “I don’t even know where to begin,” you muttered when the doorbell rang again. This time you made your way to the door and opened it with a smile that quickly fell when you recognized the person on the other side.

    “Good afternoon Darling,” Negan smiled down at you. You couldn’t deny the man had something special working for him.

   “What?” you stammered confused at his presence.

   “Have you been enjoying my presents?”

   “All of this has been from you?”

   “May I come in?” he asked and you nodded holding the door open for him. He swept in looking about your studio apartment. Maggie was frozen with a spoon of cookie dough on it’s way to her mouth.

   “Maggie, this is Negan and apparently he is my gift giver,” you locked eyes with your friend in a  _what the hell_  kind of way.

   “The asshole who got you fired?” she smirked.

   “Maggie!”

   Negan chuckled, “I would be that asshole, which brings me to my reason for being here. I wanted to take you out for a nice dinner as an apology.”

   “Oh snap. I didn’t see that coming at all,” Maggie teased taking another bite of the cookie dough.

   “Can you not Maggie? I still need to bake for two more shelters,” you whined taking the spoon away trying to ignore the way Negan’s eyes seemed to be staring into your very soul.

   “You bake?” he asked moving to the island seeing the cookie packages. There were six crafted boxes to each little tray you had sat out on the counter with two more waiting to be filled up.

   “I love to bake. I do this every year for the shelters and local churches. It’s not much but everyone deserves cookies for Christmas,” you shrug as the oven beeps. You rush over pulling out a tray of double chocolate chip cookies.

   “Damn they smell delicious!” he moves next to you. “Would you like some help baking the rest? Or I can box these up when they cool down.”

   “And that’s my cue to get out,” Maggie pulls on her jacket and scarf. “Call me in the morning and let me know what this asshole’s really up to.”

   “I’m just being nice,” Negan defends but Maggie ignores him giving you a hug. You walk her out and return to Negan shrugging off his expensive jacket and rolling up the sleeves to his shirt, “Now what can I do?”

   “Okay, first you need to tell me what the hell is going on? Why are you being so nice to me?”

   Negan’s smile fell away and his shoulders slumped, “Listen I was an asshole. I hate Christmas because it reminds me of my late wife and I wrongly took it out on you. I shouldn’t have gotten you fired and this is my way of apologizing.”

   “Negan, I appreciate that but all I really need was an _I’m Sorry_. You paid my whole rent, you bought Christmas for all those children, and this outfit,” you moved holding up the box. “All of this is too much. I already forgave you but you don’t have to pay me off.”

   “I just wanted to do something nice for you. I’m not,” he huffed pulling out the chair of your island and flopping down. “I’m not god with talking or apologizing. I never was but the money I got tons of it and I know how to use it.”

   “Do you even know my name, Negan?”

  “Not at first but I know now it’s Y/N.”

  “Stalker,” you tease getting back to scooping up the cookie dough. Negan sat watching you, “Well are you going to help or what?”

   You never saw anyone move faster than Negan. The next two hours he helped you finish the cookies and box them up to be delivered. In that time he had officially apologized and even talked a little bit about his wife. He sounded sad about it more than just her passing but you didn’t press knowing he’d tell you more when and if he had wanted to do so.

   “Ready to deliver?”

   “What about dinner?” he asked pulling his coat on.

   “I’ll make you a deal, Negan,” you smiled picking up the box. “I’ll wear these as long as you help me deliver the cookies before dinner. You’ve helped with your money but you’ve never seen the joy up close.”

   “So we deliver this and then you’ll join me for dinner?”

   “Yep,” you handed him a tray of goodies and pulled out a cart that would allow you to transport the goods. While he loaded up you changed into the outfit he had chosen. The dress fit perfectly like it had been made for you. You did a little spin in the mirror unaware of the crack you’d left in the door allowing Negan to see you.

    While Negan watched you spin he realized what had made him so angry about you that day in the elevator. Your spirit reminded him of Lucille when they had first met. There was a light in Lucille just like you. Both of you strong compassionate beautiful women and he realized he was smitten with you. Alarms seemed to go off and he stepped away, “Fuck.”

    “ _Don’t you dare run out that door_ ,” Lucille’s voice back in his ear. “ _She’s your second chance baby_.”

     “Lucille,” he whimpered. He felt something cool on his cheek and relaxed knowing it was Lucille. His need to escape vanished as your bedroom door opened.

     “You okay?” he looked down at you and nodded holding out his hand. He could see the surprise in your eyes but you took it anyway as your cheeks turned a rosy sort of color.

      You took Negan to every shelter and church along your neighborhood passing out cookies. The people loved him and he was more than willing to spend a few minutes chatting with people. He played with a girl and her dolls and even encouraged the little boys nearby to play too. It warmed your heart and for a minute you couldn’t imagine this being the same man who had cost you your job at the firm.

    “I think I figured out your secret,” you spoke after dinner. Negan had taken you to a restaurant and ordered for you at your request. The food was delicious and you had just enough wine to loosen your lips.

    “And what’s that?”

    “You hate yourself. That’s why you hide behind being an asshole.”

    “Maybe I’m just an asshole?”

    “Hmm, maybe,” you shrug wrapping your arms around his leaning against him as you walked down the sidewalk heading toward your apartment. “I don’t think you are though. The way you talked about your wife earlier. The way you interacted with the families tonight and all the stuff you’ve done for me. I mean you spent thousands making sure all those kids where I volunteer will have the Christmas of their dreams. Assholes don’t do that.”

    “You’re a pretty smart cookie,” he smiled liking the way you felt nestled against him.

    “You should forgive yourself Negan.”

    He paused and you stopped with him turning to face him, “Christmas is the season for forgiving and I really think you just need to take stock and forgive yourself for whatever is making you hate yourself.”

    “So you don’t hate me for getting you fired?”

    “If I’m being honest not really. I mean I worked there to make my Dad happy but honestly, the place was soul crushing. If you remember I was late anyway.”

    “I don’t remember that but I remembered you ruined that red dress. I hope this one makes up for it.”

   “It does now please stop spending money on me.”

  “We’ll see,” he stops at your apartment building. “If I’m not being too forward I’d love to see you again.”

  You lean up pulling him down to you kissing his cheek, “Work on forgiving yourself and I’ll be here waiting.”

   Without another word, you took off up the steps into your building leaving Negan stunned on the sidewalk. They didn’t make people like you anymore. He sighed wondering what to do and so afraid of falling into old routines. He took a taxi to his apartment and settled on the couch trying to replay tonight in his head.

    “ _I hope you listen to her Negan. She’s an amazing young woman_ ,” Lucille appeared again seated next to him.

    “She reminds me of you.”

    “ _That was kind of the point. You get a second chance to get it right, Negan. It’s okay to let me go_ ,” her hand moved to rest on top of his. “ _You did something amazing for her these past couple of weeks. Not only her but for those children and all the people tonight at the shelter. You’re a good man, Negan. I love you_.”

     “I love you, Lucille. I’ll do it right this time and I won’t ever let her feel the way you did. I’ll be the man you think I am.”

     “ _I know you will be Negan. You’ve always been the man I believe you to be. Now go wish her a Merry Christmas_ ,” Lucille leaned forward and a coldness pressed against his cheek before vanishing.

      “Well, fuck, I need to get to work,” Negan had a plan. When Simon had filled him in on everything about you it had been his intentions to make amends and move on. The dinner tonight was supposed to be the end of it but with Lucille’s ghost and the way he felt with you it must have really been a Christmas miracle.

##  **A CHRISTMAS TO REMEMBER**

      Christmas Eve was the day you were meant to go join Maggie and her family for Christmas. You’d just finished wrapping their presents trying once again to get Negan off your mind. You hadn’t seen him in over a week since that wonderful dinner and cookie delivery. Although you were not at all surprised to receive calls and thank you notes from all the shelters and churches you’d visited with Negan. It seems he had made healthy donations to every place in your name although they didn’t tell you specific amounts. For someone with a reputation like Negan, he was really some kind of savior.

      Without thinking you pulled the dark green dress on knowing it would be perfect for Christmas. Perhaps it’s what Negan had intended when he bought it. You knew you had a small crush but that nothing obviously would come of it. He’d apologized to you and you’d accepted so it was over and done with. Still, you’d hope for a Christmas miracle that he’d come back.

       You locked up with your presents under your arm heading down for the uber you’d called when you stopped seeing Negan. He was standing beside a large SUV wearing a deep burgundy suit accented with a green that matched the dress you wore. You nearly dropped your presents but a man with a mustache stepped up taking them from your hands and moved to put them in the back of Negan’s SUV.

       “Darling you’re uber has arrived!”

      “What are you doing here?” you stepped down moving right to Negan.

      “I wanted to spend Christmas with you. I thought about what you said and how you see something in me that I haven’t in a long time.”

      “So you forgave yourself?”

      “I’m working myself up to it but I thought if I could get help from someone that would make it better. When I thought about it I can’t get you off my mind. I know we didn’t meet under the best of circumstances, but I’d like to see if there is something here.”

     “I’d really like that Negan. After all, it is the season of forgiveness and I’d be willing to help with that.”

     “I was hoping you’d say that, Y/N.” He holds out his arm, “May I escort you to your party?”

     “I’d love for you too,” you blushed again taking his hand.

      Although Maggie was apprehensive at first Negan soon won her and her family over. He was every bit the man you thought he was. He made jokes and played with the kids. He helped Maggie’s mom and aunts in the kitchen. You name it, he did it if you could believe. After the presents were opened and the kids were readying for bed you and Negan took your leave. Negan parked down the street from your apartment and opened your door taking your hand as he walked you to your steps just as he had a week ago.

      “I told you that you were a good guy,” you teased squeezing his hand that held yours.

      “I’m getting there I wasn’t a good man to my wife, Y/N. I cheated on her.”

      “And then she got sick and you blamed yourself?”

      “I figure since I was the dickhead cheating on such an amazing woman I should’ve had the cancer. Lucille wouldn’t hear of it though. She wanted me to be a better man and I really let her down. Well, at least until I met you.”

      You processed his confession, “Why are you telling me this?”

      “Because, Darling, I want you to know every damn thing. I want to make sure you know what you’re getting yourself into.”

      “I’ve got a pretty good idea,” you dropped his hand bouncing up the steps opening the door. You looked back as Negan watched you unsure of what to do, “You coming up? I thought maybe a little hot chocolate and cuddling.”

      “Are you serious?”

      “Come on Negan. It’s Christmas,” you smiled as he practically leaped up the stairs pressing you into the wall of the entranceway kissing you hard. Your hands wrapped around him trying to pull him closer if possible. His tongue passed your lips while your hips grinding against him. It was a heated minute before the need for air separated you. Each of you breathing heavily as your eyes remained locked with one another.

      “Merry Christmas to me,” he finally spoke in a rough voice.

      “Take me upstairs and I’ll make it a very Merry Christmas,” you teased licking your lips.

      “Yes ma’am,” the grin on his face should have prepared you. Negan picked you up hauling you over his shoulder and carried you up the three flights of stairs to your apartment as if you had weighed nothing. Once inside you both made a trail of clothes barely making it to the bed before the need for one another took over.

      You and Negan spent all day in bed together on Christmas. Things changed immensely in the community regarding Negan’s reputation. Some even took to calling him “The Savior” if you can believe it. With you, by his side, the charity work was insurmountable in the community and the love that bloomed was like nothing either of you were prepared for. The following Christmas he’d ask you to marry him and the Christmas after that Negan Jr. would celebrate his first Christmas. Everything was perfect and all it took was the willingness to forgive and help a stranger in need.


End file.
